Monday, February 20, 2012

Shadows and Embers

Shadows crept across the wall, hunkering down near the gritty stone and hoping that no one in the crowd below would notice him. It was just his luck that there would be a funeral today, interfering with his ability to get into the cemetery unseen. But it wasn't like he could just do this tomorrow. No, the task had to be accomplished at the rise of the full moon. It was tradition.

He could just imagine what would happen if one of the stupid humans looked up and saw him. “Ahhhh!” it would scream. Then another would join it, “A demon! It's going to kill us!” Right. Like Shadows had time to munch on random humans. Everyone knew humans took hours to prepare properly and the little imps waiting at home would be starving by then. What kind of father would make them wait for human meat when Chicken Shack was on the way home?

Finally at the right spot, Shadows slid down from the wall and made his way silently to row three, plot d.

As the moon slid into view, he laid a bundle of orange daises by Ember's gravestone, then went home to care for their young.



I found the prompt via +Writ on G+, but it's originally from Rachel Harrie's Campaigner Challenge.

Write a short story/flash fiction story in 200 words or less, excluding the title. It can be in any format, including a poem. Begin the story with the words, “Shadows crept across the wall”. These five words will be included in the word count.
If you want to give yourself an added challenge (optional), do one or more of these:
  • end the story with the words: "everything faded." (also included in the word count)
  • include the word "orange" in the story
  • write in the same genre you normally write
  • make your story 200 words exactly!

27 comments:

  1. Ooh really cool! Love your take on the challenge! And it's cool that you're a homeschooling mom! I'm a homeschooled kid. And I've moved a lot, too! Fifteen times, to be exact. Nice to meet you!

    I'm entry #19

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  2. So much to love about this one. Great idea to make his name Shadows. My fav line "humans took hours to prepare properly..." And so touching that he puts flowers at Ember's tomb. Great entry.

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  3. Nice touch at the end, the flowers on her grave, going home to their kids.

    Tale Spinning: Wednesday's Child

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  4. Really love that you used the prompt for the character's name! So original!

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  5. Interesting spin on the prompt! Well done! :D

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  6. I don't know. People-devouring shadows would be an interesting concept. You just might have to run with it. Awesome scene and intriguing voice. Nice one! :)

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  7. I love how you made Shadows a name! And I love the humorous part about eating humans v Chicken Shack!

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  8. P.S.: Your entry has been shortlisted and will move on to round 2 of the competition. :)

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  9. Clever use of Shadows as the character's name - great job!

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  10. This is really cool! Very creative to use the name Shadows!

    I'm #37

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  11. I liked this humor, and then mixed with a little punch in the stomach at the end with the sadness. :/

    Chicken Shack, I didn't expect, along with that ending! Very interesting story and great job!

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  12. Thanks for all the kind comments, everyone! And I'm honored to be in round two. :)

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  13. Really fun read, I liked the play on the name Shadows as well, very good twist.

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  14. This is the first time I've read Shadows as a character. Well done!

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  15. I love that you made the shadow the main character! Really clever.

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  16. What a clever idea to tell the story from the POV of the demon, rather than the human being creeped out. I loved the humour in this. Made the demon seem, well, human!

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  17. A demon father? I love it ^_^

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  18. Hi, Andy! You've been shortlisted and you're moving on to the semi-finals. Congratulations! :)

    (Just a reminder: If you make it one more round to the finals, you'll get a prize. Good luck!)

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  19. Great story, I enjoyed the twist at the end!

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  20. I like how it was so different to all the other entries!

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  21. Congratulations, you're a winner in the challenge!

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  22. This is really creative Andy, well done :) Love the bit about how preparing humans is too much effort *grins*. And it's so moving at the end with his demon-wife dead :(

    I've awarded you Ninth Place overall in the Judging Round! A huge congrats to you, and don't forget to pop by my blog to see the prize you've won :)

    Hugs,

    Rach

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  23. Hi Andy! Just a reminder that you won a 15 page critique from me as your prize! Email me at: margokelly@q.com with your 15 pages attached, and I'll send you a detailed critique back. :) Happpy writing.

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Thoughts, reactions, or constructive criticism? Let me know!